Spiritual Musing

The first poem I ever wrote

2011-09-19T08:02:00.001-05:00

Sherri and I had been going to an Open Mic night in our neighborhood for several months, making friends and building relationships with those who regularly attended and performed. I think that it would be safe to say that the vast majority do not share my faith in Christ, and are in fact hostile to their understanding of the Bible and of organized religion. However, the warmth and receptivity of the audience was very engaging, and I found myself desiring to share my life and my heart with them in some creative way.

So, not being able to sing, dance or play an instrument, I turned to the only thing I have some skill with: words. I thought if I could put my "worldview" into poetic form, I could share it from the stage. Below is the first poem that I wrote and performed.

The best time of day I find to be,
the early morning hours, when it's just me,

in the quiet, in the stillness all alone
to imagine the future that is my own.

To imagine the future that just may be
though what a day holds no one can see.

But still I have hope
that I as I devote

myself to this day
I will be able to say

That one more piece of the puzzle meant to be
my life's purpose and destiny

will find its way onto the table,
so that I might be able

to say that my life and my time
here has fallen more in line

with what was his imagination
in the early morning hours of creation.

A Poem called "Stories"

2011-09-19T07:53:00.001-05:00

I see my life as a story,
a story whose prologue has been written long ago
by those whose stories came before my story,
whose stories came together to create the setting and compose the introduction to my story.

I see my life as a story,
a story whose chapters are being written now
in connection with those whose stories are unfolding at the same time as my story,
whose stories in which I, in turn, see my story as a chapter.

I see my life as a story,
a story whose epilogue will be written someday
by those whose stories will come after my story,
whose stories in which my story will play a part in their prologue.

I see all lives as stories,
stories being written under the watchful eye of a common editor
who continues to create and compile the grand story that encompasses all stories,
the ultimate story that will take mankind across the line from time into eternity,
the epic story that can only rightly be called, his-story.

If Dr. Suess was one of the 12 disciples

2011-09-18T22:29:00.001-05:00

I have often wondered what would have happened if Dr. Suess was one of the 12 disciples. I am quite sure that he would have submitted a Gospel account, at least with his version of the stories and parable that Jesus told.

So, below is my rendition of the Prodigal Son as retold by Dr. Suess:
_______________________________________________

Now this is the story of a father with two sons,
both boys seemed grown, but the younger one

possessed little understanding of being a man,
and less of a knowledge of life's overall plan.

So early one morning for the road he came dressed,
and standing before his father he made this request:

"Just give me what's mine of this family's treasure,
for my heart has grown bored here and I'm off to find pleasure

in the world beyond the boundaries of this family's land,
I'm off to find life in whatever's at hand."

So divide the family inheritance is what the father had done
and into the hands of this, his youngest son

was placed a large portion of all the father had won
through his days of toil and labor, under the son.

Soon his journey took the boy to a far distant land,
where before he could stop it the whirlwind began;

food, fame and friends, wine women and song
were there for the asking but only as long

as the money was flowing to cover the bill,
when his pockets ran empty the room quickly grew still.

Soon a famine developed that swept over the land
and with a local pig farmer he hired on as a hand.

In the midst of the squalor his mind began turning
to thoughts of his father and the lessons he was learning.

"My father's servants back home live so much better than this,
oh, what I would not give for his embrace and his kiss.

But it's too late for me for I have squandered his wealth,"
said the young son with great grief, said the young son to himself.

"It was my father's good graces that allowed me to roll
through life's pains and life's struggles, how did I not know?

But I can rise now and return to where I came from
and ask for forgiveness for what I have done,

understanding I've forfeited my rights as his son,
but of the number of servants, maybe even I could be one."

As he crested the last hill on the long journey home,
what unfolded next he could have never known,

for his father came running with tears in his eyes,
and the younger son's heart was caught by surprise.

"My son,
I have been watching and waiting with hope in my heart
that one day you'd return and make a fresh start."

"But father,
I've sinned against heaven and I want you to know
that of all that you gave me I have nothing to show;

I no longer deserve to be considered your son,
just call me a servant and all will be done."

The father called instead to his servants with joy,
"Bring a ring and a robe, and some shoes for my boy.

Call a party together so that all may know,
my son who was lost and who had decided to go

has returned in repentance to where he belonged
and I receive him with gladness, it was for him my heart longed."

Now when the sounds of celebration drifted into the fields
where the older son toiled attempting to yield

a great crop for his father to make his heart proud,
his ears heard the music and the sounds of the crowd.

Now when he came near the house he asked of a slave,
"Exactly what has happened here to cause my father to rave?"

"It's your brother, he's returned from the far distant land,
and your father's rejoicing for his youngest son is in hand."

Now the older son became angry at the words that he heard
and his spirit grew bitter from what he had learned.

So when his father approached and invited him in,
the older son asked, "When have I not been

by your side day and night as your most faithful son?
Yet when that fool returns I see a party's begun."

"My son,
All I have has been yours from the first day until now,
but with all that has happened I must ask you how

could we not celebrate your brother's return,
when on this day I have finally learned

that my son who was dead is alive again,
so with all my heart I say 'Let the party begin.'"

I have been writing some poetry.... what do you think?

2011-09-18T21:53:00.003-05:00

At the close of my life
when the curtain falls,
when the lights go dim
and eternity calls...
my name,

what will I claim?
and on what will I stand,
knowing deep inside
there will be a demand...
to answer,

for the time I have spent
going around the sun,
for the people I've met
as I've done this run...
called life,

can I trust that I'm right
believing that I am good,
thinking I have done
all that I should...
for others,

and can I hope that it covers
the deep sense of shame,
for all of my sin
and for all of the pain...
I've caused?

so, I choose to trust
in a Gospel of grace,
in the work of Christ's cross,
and in a smile on the face...
of Jesus.

They Did Not Believe

2011-04-01T07:39:00.005-05:00

At the conclusion of Mark's Gospel (chapter 16), it is recorded that Mary and the disciples to whom Jesus appeared on the road to Emmaus reported to the apostles that Jesus was alive and had appeared to them; yet, they did not believe it.

Then Jesus appears, rebuking them for not believing the report of those who had experienced his resurrection, and proceeds to instruct the disciples to go out and preach the Gospel to the world -- apparently expecting people to believe that which they did not believe upon first hearing it.

How could they expect that anyone would accept their witness when they had not accepted the report that came to them? Likewise, how can I expect anyone to believe my witness to the lordship of Jesus as confirmed by his resurrection if even those who walked with Jesus did not believe until they saw him in the flesh?

I wonder what the coming of the Spirit, and the subsequent ministry of the Spirit as described by Jesus, has to do with this issue of people accepting the witness concerning Jesus? Could it be that this portion of the Gospel record is given to reveal that the coming and ministry of the Spirit is the critical element in the establishing of the Kingdom of God?

Was it the lack of the anointing/presence of the Spirit of God on those reporting the truth or the lack of the activity of the Spirit on those hearing the witness that was the deciding factor? Or was it both?

I imagine that the Spirit's involvement on both sides is crucial. I also imagine that this should shape my prayer and intercession for those to whom I am communicating the Gospel.

They Missed It

2011-03-16T09:12:00.006-05:00

Matthew 17:22-23
22 As they were meeting in Galilee, Jesus told them, "The Son of Man is about to be betrayed into the hands of men.
23 They will kill Him, and on the third day He will be raised up." And they were deeply distressed.

The final thought that Jesus communicated to his disciples was that he would be raised up on the third day; however, they were distressed, deeply distressed.

It occurs to me that they should have been extremely excited and overjoyed. Jesus had just spoken of his final victory over death and the grave. But they missed it, and they were therefore deeply distressed at the situation.

I imagine that there are two reasons that this scenario played out as it did. First, they didn't understand the big picture. The words, "on the third day he will be raised up," did not register with their thinking process - it wasn't within their scope or worldview. So they missed it.

Second, they succumbed to the part of human nature that seems to focus on negative news above and beyond positive news. We get stuck at the negative and it so dominates our thinking and perspective that the positive is overlooked. The disciples did not get past the thoughts that Jesus would be betrayed and killed. So they missed it.

I won't invest my time in writing and your time in reading the application of these thoughts to our present day lives -- I believe it is obvious.

Resurrection Worldview

2011-02-22T10:22:00.002-06:00

As a believer in Jesus Christ, a Christian, I have always thought that having a Biblical Worldview would keep me balanced and living a life that would please God.

I have begun to develop a new worldview based primarily on the resurrection of Jesus Christ. This means that though my perspective is based on a theology of creation, a theology of grace, a theology of the cross, I will consciously base my reality on the truth and a theology of resurrection.

I understand the resurrection to be the in-breaking and realization of the Kingdom of God in the present age. In facing struggles, opposition and trials, I choose to see and respond to these experiences through the lense of the resurrection of Jesus Christ.

I am still learning and discovering what it means to view the world through the resurrection, but primarily it means hope and future despite circumstances.

The Dominant Prefix in Christianity

2010-12-30T08:52:00.002-06:00

"Re."

Consider the meaning of the words in the following list, and then consider how the message of the Gospel is summed up by adding the prefix "re-."

1) generated
2) born
3) deemed
4) new

This prefix reveals and reflects the character and nature of God - his grace, kindness and faithfulness to mankind.

Five Things

2010-12-08T08:56:00.002-06:00

Recently my wife and I had the privilege of having coffee with Mark Hausfeld; Mark is the director of the Center for Ministry to Muslims.

Our conversation centered around the 5 things that are being reported by Muslim individuals who have come to faith in Christ as to having affect in their lives for the Gospel. Here is the list:

1) Observing the life of a believer
2) Receiving/reading a Bible
3) Seeing signs and wonders in answers to prayer in their behalf (offered in Jesus' name)
4) Realizing that God is a God of love
5) Growing sick of Islam

As our discussion unfolded, it became quite apparent that these same five dynamics will likely be the most effective things to impact the lives of individuals who have grown up and are living in post-Christian America. Obviously, some of the specifics will differ slightly, but overall the correlation is apparent.

Our challenge is to be actively involved in seeing these things play out in the lives of those around us who do not believe in Christ.

Last Word....

2010-12-02T07:27:00.003-06:00

I have been at a stand still spiritually, both personally and professionally. Personally I have felt somewhat disconnected from Jesus, like I have been simply going through the motions with very little true interaction. Professionally I feel high-centered with no traction to move forward in my calling to plant this urban church.

This morning I was overcome with the thoughts of a few things that God has been gently speaking to me about doing and/or incorporating in my personal and ministry life. I have been slow on doing it.

The next thoughts that came were along the lines of following the last word that God has been speaking to me if I want to move forward spiritually, both personally and professionally. I really need to get on that.

I Forgot

2010-08-21T00:15:00.003-05:00

I am not sure how I forgot, but I did.

We live in a world at war, a spiritual war. And the battles rage daily for the hearts, minds and very souls of individual men and women. The conclusion of each individual case is eternal in nature. It is no game; it is for keeps.

Caught up in the daily routine of life, ministry and relationships, I have forgotten that the work is spiritual in its nature and essence, and, as Paul says, the weapons of our warfare are not carnal.

Spiritual battles must be fought by spiritual means, those means being fleshed out through sacrifice, commitment and resolve. The eternal fate of the people in my world weigh in the balance.

"Father, empower me and strengthen me in my flesh to be a true soldier of the cross of Jesus Christ."

I Must Be A Farmer

2010-08-13T09:20:00.003-05:00

Of all the things that Jesus uses as metaphors or illustrations, he refers to agriculture (or farming) more than any other one thing - and this bugs me.

It bugs me because through this realization, the thought has been developing in my heart and mind that God would have me to be a farmer. And I was not created with the temperament of a farmer.

It would be easier for me to be a Circus Ring Master. I like the big event, the spectacular, the amazing. I like dropping in somewhere, setting up the tent, creating a commotion and drawing a crowd.

But nowhere in Scripture does God refer to the Kingdom of God being like a circus. Bummer.

So, I am studying and contemplating the life of a farmer and the process of farming. Stay tuned.

Grace

2010-08-01T07:47:00.004-05:00

Grace - God's working in my life to accomplish in me and through me and for me what I can not accomplish on my own. (a paraphrase of Dallas Willard's thoughts on grace - The Great Omission," page 99).

I have always thought only of God's grace in regard to my salvation. I am finding that the Scripture reveals that it is God's grace that not only allows us to enter the Kingdom of God, but that also empowers us to live in the Kingdom of God, to live out the righteousness and principles that our Lord laid down in his teachings.

Loving one's enemies, doing good to those who hate you, etc., are not natural actions or reactions - they are supernatural. This is where God's grace comes in.

God's grace does cover my sin; however, I am finding that a life of righteousness demands much more grace than a life of sin - if that makes sense.

Division

2010-03-29T08:03:00.003-05:00

It doesn't seem to make sense that the Scripture reveals that the character and nature of God is unity and community, but the message of God, the Gospel, brings division.

Reading through the life and times of the Early Church in Acts, entire towns were divided because of the preaching of Paul and Barnabas (see especially their first missionary journey in Acts 14). Each town they encountered experience division among the people over the pure message of the Gospel.

However, it is was more than a division between those who believed the Gospel and those who did not. The deep-seated division came through the activity of those who were incited by jealousy or whose lives and lifestyles were threatened by the apostles' message.

Can we expect anything different today?

I know that I personally strive for unity and community - with those who believe and with those who do not. And among those who do not, it must be understood that some will believe and many will not believe; further, it must be understood that among those who will not believe, many will be literal enemies of the Gospel. It only seems logical and natural if one looks at the testimony and example of the Early Church.

I hesitantly say, "May my preaching create enemies of the Gospel," for the Scriptural record seems to indicate that a bold, authentic proclamation of the cross will produce enemies of the Gospel.

The Third Ingredient

2010-02-14T07:20:00.003-06:00

The prophet Daniel is held up in Scripture as one of the most exemplary figures in Jewish history. God seems to view him as someone through and in whom He could reveal mysteries.

So what is it about this man Daniel that sets him apart in such a way that God trusts him with such revelation? I believe a clue is found in the opening verses of Daniel chapter 6, in the midst of the account of Daniel's lion's den experience. In this passage Daniel is described as a man with three characteristics. The first two are traits that are commonly referred to when one considers godly character qualities: trustworthy and not corrupt.

I have met many people who possess these first two characteristics; in fact, I consider myself to be trustworthy and not to be corrupt. Yet, I to date have not seen the effectiveness nor the impact produced through my life and ministry that I read about in Daniel's life (And I don't see it in the lives of many that I consider to be trustworthy and not corrupt).

It is that third ingredient listed in Daniel 6:5 - he was not negligent. The positive way of stating that truth would be to say that Daniel was diligent. He did what was right to do, and he did it consistently.

I see this as the dynamic of Daniel's life that sets him above the average, and a critical ingredient in his character make-up that allowed God to use him in such powerful ways.

May I be diligent.

The Cost

2010-02-04T07:56:00.003-06:00

In my daily Scripture reading I am in the book of Ezekiel. Up to this point the content has been pretty dark, harsh and foreboding. Chapter 24 took that all to a new level.

Beginning in verse 14 (and based on all that the Lord had spoken up to that point) God reveals to Ezekiel something that is so outlandish that it is barely believable.

15 The word of the LORD came to me: ¹⁶ "Son of man, with one blow I am about to take away from you the delight of your eyes. Yet do not lament or weep or shed any tears. ¹⁷ Groan quietly; do not mourn for the dead. Keep your turban fastened and your sandals on your feet; do not cover the lower part of your face or eat the customary food of mourners ."

¹⁸ So I spoke to the people in the morning, and in the evening my wife died.

In this passage, God reveals to Ezekiel that Ezekiel is about to be used as an object lesson to the nation of Israel in that he (Ezekiel) is about to lose what is most precious to him - his wife - and that he cannot mourn his loss. Supposedly this is to be an example to Israel that they are about to experience the judgment of God and that they are not to mourn over the judgment. Apparently God is giving this instruction based on the truth that Israel brought the judgment upon themselves and therefore has no right to mourn.

My Point: What a cost to be the one that God uses.

God's covert agents

2010-01-09T11:55:00.004-06:00

Reading in Jeremiah today, I was reminded about how much bigger God's Kingdom is than I consciously imagine.

In Jeremiah 25:8 and 27:6, the Lord Almighty calls the king of Babylon, Nebuchandnezzar, His servant. His servant, the title God gives to the ruler of the most wicked nation on the planet at that time.

Read in context, we discover that God is going to use Neb's natural inclinations and activity to accomplish His purposes and further His agenda by allowing him to invade, conquer and capture the people of the nation of Israel.

All this to say that we must be careful and prayerful about what we attribute to the devil at work against us and God's Kingdom; it may just be the covert activity of God accomplishing his Kingdom purposes and plans in our lives and our world.

The "Reality" of Hell

2010-01-08T16:08:00.003-06:00

Let me know what you think!

Knowing God

2010-01-05T08:18:00.004-06:00

In my daily reading, I came across a passage in Jeremiah (22:16) that stuck out to me. Speaking of Josiah, king of Judah, Jeremiah says,

"He defended the cause of the poor and needy,
and so all went well.
Is that not what it means to know me?"
declares the LORD.

"Is that not what it means to know me?" says the Lord through the prophet Jeremiah, "to defend the poor and the needy."

So this begs the question in my heart, what does it mean in our day and time and in my personal life context to defend the poor and needy?

What expressions are there that would fulfill this mandate of the Lord, and fulfill this dimension of the Lord's heart? My prayer today is that God would reveal to my soul what this looks like for my life.

Primal

2009-12-24T09:42:00.002-06:00

I have just finished reading Mark Batterson's new book, "Primal."

It was a refreshing read and very timely, calling people back to the foundation or primal dimension of Christianity - loving God. Mark's exploration of the different Biblical dynamics of loving God - with one's heart, mind and strength - is a reminder of what it means to be in relationship with God.

I encourage the reading of this book to believers of all ages and backgrounds. I see this book being a valuable devotional tool.

"Wait over there."

2009-08-29T07:44:00.003-05:00

A few weeks ago a good friend died. His name: Roosevelt Hunter. I could go on and on about my experiences with this amazing guy and his beautiful wife and family, but that is not the point of this post.

The thing that stands out in my mind about Roosevelt is that his life will indeed go on and on. Though he left us a short time ago, the effects of his living on this planet for over forty years is not nearly over. The seeds that he planted in the lives of literally millions of people are still under the anointing of God, and those seeds (the words he spoke and the life he lived) will continue to bear fruit.

I was thinking about Roosevelt the other day in regard to what he must have experienced upon crossing over the threshold and through the veil of death. I can picture him approaching the place of judgment, the place where his life will be translated into his eternal reward, and meeting with a strange instruction from the one behind the counter or desk: “You, Roosevelt Hunter, go wait over there.”

Now I am sure that Roosevelt has been put in time-out more times than can be counted (both by his mother when he was young and by his wife in recent times), but this time it would be different.

“Why?” Roosevelt will be asking.

“Because your time to stand before me is not yet,” commented the reward teller.

“What do you mean, I am here and I’m not going back, right?” questions Roosevelt.

“You must wait until the generation that is living now - and the generation that will come after this one - has passed on before your time comes to stand before me,” pronounces the teller.

“I don’t understand,” states Roosevelt.

“The total is not yet in,” claims the teller as he shuffles a few papers, “the meter is still counting." As the teller looks up he continues to explain, "While some pass through life and end up before me at the moment of their death to receive their reward as children of God instantly, you are different. Only time and the passing of two generations – and perhaps more – will reveal the eternal effect and the fruit that your life produced.”

My prayer is that I, like Roosevelt, will hear the words, “You, go wait over there,” when I first arrive in eternity. I desire to live my life investing in the lives of others, through the wisdom and anointing of the Spirit, that the words of Jesus in John 11 (though you are dead, yet shall you live - paraphrased) will have more than one meaning.

I know this is true for Roosevelt Hunter.

The Attack

2009-08-28T08:19:00.005-05:00

Some things you know, but you seem to have to learn over and over again.

Satan's strategy is to attack the foundation of any thing that opposes God. I realize that this is a broad statement, so let me narrow it down.

The number one point of turbulence and disruption over the past three months has been in and around our marriage relationship. We have been at odds - sometimes big stuff, most of the time small stuff.

I have been reminded this morning that if the devil can cut our life's calling off at the root, so much the better. However, we are determined that this will not happen.

My point is this: I know that my marriage is going to be a major point of attack when it comes to the strategy of the enemy of my soul and of the Kingdom of God; yet, I go about my days as though I don't know this reality, allowing the disruption and problems to escalate. All this plays right into the desire and design of Satan.

Not smart.

Seeds and Soil

2009-05-22T17:42:00.003-05:00

Before we moved into our house in March, we had to repair and replace the sewer line from the main stack in the house to the sewer main in the alley. All went well, but it also resulted in 80% of the yard being torn up. Therefore, planting grass was required.

By the time I found time to spread grass seed, the ground had pretty well hardened. One Thursday morning, when weather.com informed me that it was going to rain all afternoon, a plan come to my mind ... I went out and bought the seed and waited for the rains to come.

After it had rained for about two hours, and as it continued to rain, I went out in the pouring rain with my hand-seed-spreader and began to spread the seed, which took me about 20 minutes. It looked like the perfect plan as the seed seemed to be absorbing into the ground.

However, much to my dismay, when the rains stopped and the ground dried, the seed lay on top the soil. Apparently the ground was so hard that even with the downpour of rain the seed could not penetrate the soil.

So, I began to break up the soil, turning it over little-by-little with a shovel. This took a total of about eight hours, and a lot of work. I am glad to say at this point the seeds have sprouted and the grass is growing.

You may ask, "Why the long story about grass seed, soil and rain?" I think I learned something about reaching people with the message of the Gospel.

To pull on the parable that Jesus told concerning the seed and the soil, I learned in a very real way that the condition of the soil is the most critical dynamic of the harvest. Even when the seed of the gospel is spread during outpouring of the Spirit, if the soil is hard, the seed will find it difficult or even impossible to take root and sprout.

Translated (or applied to life), I find it to be a reality in the people that we are connecting with that the most critical thing is the condition of their heart in regard to the Gospel. We can spread seed all day long, but if the heart is hard, there is no fruitfulness. We are finding that the necessary step is the breaking up the fallow ground. This is done through time spent together and through thoughtful conversations, all of which is covered and surrounded by prayer.

The easy part of planting the seed in my yard was spreading the seed; the hard and time-consuming part was breaking up the ground to receive the seed.

God, grant us the grace, anointing and patience to see a harvest of souls.

The Chair (Part 2)

2009-05-07T06:30:00.001-05:00

Life has enough to worry about. This is where trust comes in. The more things in life I can truly trust in, the less I have to spend time concentrating on. And the less I have to concentrate on, the more concentrated on the things I should be focused on I can be! (I know, bad sentence, but it's early).

Back to the chair...if I find myself spending much of my conscious effort and energy thinking about the chair, and its ability to hold me, I will be less than 100% focused on the conversation I may be having or the taste of the meal before me. I will miss out on the fullness of the situation being distracted by worry.

My desire is to learn to trust God more and more, knowing his ability to provide and protect me, so that I can focus upon the things that are truly priorities. When it is settled in my mind, heart and spirit that God is with me and for me, as well as able and willing to do that which is necessary in my life in regard to Kingdom development, I can not only focus upon the destination that God is calling me toward, but I can enjoy the journey.

The Chair

2009-05-06T07:08:00.000-05:00

To trust God is to prove him. The more I consciously trust him, the more trust I will have in him. Sounds a little cloudy, but it is true.

Do I trust God? How can I increase my level of trust?

Consider the chair.

The only way to truly know if a chair will support you is to sit in it. I realize that I can place an amount of weight equal to or greater than my own on the chair to gain some level or ability to trust the chair.

But to know firsthand, I must personally sit in the chair. And firsthand knowledge is what it is all about. There is a difference between knowing that a chair CAN support my weight, and that a chair WILL support my weight. There is a distinction between knowing a chair can support my weight and knowing the feeling of being supported by the chair. Only when I trust the chair to support my weight will I experience the benefits of the chair.

The same is true in trusting God. Firsthand knowledge is what it is all about. I can increase my level of trust in God by watching others trust him. I can increase that level by reading the accounts in the Scripture of people trusting him.

But nothing takes the place of trusting him personally. Only then do I receive the benefits of the faithfulness of God.

Guidance

2009-01-31T14:31:00.000-06:00

I love to read (almost 100% nonfiction). I get a lot out of most everything I read; however, I have been noticing that usually it is not the "big message" that the author is communicating. Most of the time, it is a small sideline thought that speaks the loudest to me, and that lingers in my brain to perculate. I don't usually recall the context of the thought or the way that it fits into the overall message - I simply know that the thought takes on a life of its own in my mind and heart.

Recently, while reading Organic Church by Neil Cole, this phenomenon occurred.

The thought that captured my attention spoke of the importance of two concepts when it comes to leading people in regard to mission: purpose and principle. I think the reason this has stuck out to me is because I long to lead people, yet I have no desire to control people.

Here's what I think of all this (up to the point that I have had time to contemplate): it is my role as a leader to communicate the purpose to which we are called and the principles in which we must operate. And as long as the endeavors and efforts of those working together serve to accomplish the stated purpose and are in line with Biblical principles, my role is to empower their investment, whatever that is.

Willing to be wrong...

2008-12-23T22:01:00.001-06:00

I heard a talk by Sir Ken Robinson (on ted.com) today in which he made a thought-provoking statement: The moment one stops being willing to be wrong is the moment his/her capacity of creativity diminishes.

This seems to be tied together with the dynamic of risk, and also of failure. I have to ask myself the question, "What do I have to loose?" And the ultimate answer is the lose of potential.

I desire to push the limits of my existence, and I long to expand my capacity; and this craving is stronger than my fear of being wrong and my aversion to failure.

Alone

2008-10-29T08:01:00.000-05:00

I noticed today as I was reading in Mark's Gospel that it was during the times the disciples were alone with Jesus that He would explain the events of the day -- miracles, parables, etc.

I wonder how much more the Spirit would explain to me about my days and God's activity in and around my life if I were to get alone with Him more often.

Rescued

2008-10-21T08:27:00.001-05:00

I was reading in Galatians today and a verse struck me in a way it had not before: "(Jesus Christ) who gave himself for our sins to rescue us from the present evil age...."

I guess what resonated within me was the truth that though Jesus gave such a high price - all that was involved inthe incarnation, his life and death involved, physically, spiritually and emotionally - for the purpose of rescuing me from the "present evil age," I find myself intrigued, inticed and involved in this evil age. It may or may not be the outward activities of evil, but I have no doubt that my thoughts and perspectives are too strongly influence by the ideologies of this present evil age.

My challenge to myself is to live in the fullness of what God has done in my behalf through Christ. If He gave himself for my sins to rescue me from all that this evil age is, then I want to live as a rescued man ... free from the influence and ideologies of the age ... and only connected to the extent that I can be used by God to rescue others.

"If Only"

2008-08-11T06:28:00.000-05:00

In his farewell address to the leadership of the Ephesian church, the Apostle Paul reveals the motivation for his life, and he does so by using two small words: If Only.

"And now, compelled by the Spirit, I am going to Jerusalem, not knowing what will happen to me there. I only know that in every city the Holy Spirit warns me that prison and hardships are facing me. However, I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me—the task of testifying to the gospel of God's grace." (emphasis mine)

These verses have got me thinking about my life. What is my "if only"? What is the one task that supersedes all others in my life? What is the one assignment that God has called me to complete? What is the fuel that supplies my life with the necessary energy required to endure the hardships and setbacks of life without giving up?

I have to think about it. Whatever it is, discovering it seems to be important in the overall scheme of my life and walk with God.

Balance

2008-06-20T07:18:00.000-05:00

Leaning too far one way or the other results in the loss of balance, and the loss of balance usually results in falling down. I don't like to fall down.

There are two areas of life and ministry that I have been struggling with lately, mostly because I have been leaning so far to one side of each issue that this "lean" has become my norm. I think that God is calling me to adjust my lean.

The problem that I am struggling with is not adjusting my lean - I am open to that. The problem is that I know myself, and I have a tendency to over-adjust and to lean completely the other direction. And then I am just as off balance, only in another direction.

One area has to do mostly with ministry in general. I have been raised in an era and schooled by the best in the discipline of the attractional style of ministry. This has caused me to walk with a lean in this direction, and all without ever really realizing it. Yet, here lately, God is impressing upon me the thought and concept of (what has been labeled) the incarnational style of ministry. I sum up the difference as this: attractional style=doing church, and incarnational style=being church. I realize that this is an over-simplification, but I am a simple guy so this works for me.

When I look backward over the past few years of ministry, I see evidence of God creating in my heart and mind the shift toward incarnational ministry. Much of the unrest in my last ministry position (at a great church that I love) was a low-level lack of satisfaction due to the absence of the church being “present” in the community. My heart was connecting with the community in authentic ways, but I felt alone in this.

The other area of life that I have been struggling with has also to do with ministry, but in a more personal dimension. My context of faith, being Pentecostal from the beginning, results in the expression of evangelism that relies on the momentary anointing of the Spirit in bringing about conviction, repentance and then faith in the life of an individual. Yet, God is bringing me to see the need for strong apologetics. I read authors like J. P. Moreland and William Lane Craig, and I gain the understanding of how crucial apologetics is in the realm of evangelism. Therefore, I must study to gain the wisdom and understanding necessary to engage in dialogue with the unsaved of this world. OR, do I rely on the Spirit? After all, “It is not by might, nor by power, but by my Spirit, says the Lord of Hosts.” And didn’t Paul say that he didn’t want the Corinthian believer’s faith to rest on man’s wisdom, but on the Spirit and power of God?

I realize that I am wrestling these passages out of their proper context, but when you are leaning as far as I have been for as long as I have been, that’s not hard to do.
I have come and am coming to the conclusion that the solution to my struggle is this: both/and. Authentic and effective ministry in today’s American culture must be both attractional and incarnational, and it must rely both on a strong anointing and a strong apologetic.

The Point of the Cross

2008-06-15T23:51:00.000-05:00

I am in relationship with a lot of people, and for the most part, each relationship is based on something different. For example, I am in relationship with my wife based on our wedding vows, and I am in relationship with the president of the United States based on the fact that I am a citizen of the country.

However, just because I am in relationship with each of the above examples does not mean I am in or have fellowship with them. Relationship and Fellowship are two different things.

God has made a way (through Jesus Christ) that we might be in relationship with Him, and He did so for the purpose of us being in and having fellowship with Him. I know that this is where I have missed out on my relationship with God alot of times in my life.

The truth is this: if I am in relationship with God, but not taking the time or investing the effort to experience fellowship with Him, I am missing the very purpose for which He brought me into relationship......in other words, I am missing the point of cross of Jesus Christ.

Itineration

2008-06-09T08:59:00.001-05:00

As an Assemblies of God U.S. Missionary, the first leg of our journey in establishing ourselves and ministry in the great city of St. Louis is to develop a support team - financial, prayer and emotional support. We do this by connecting with churches and individuals who give us the opportunity to communicate our calling to church planting in St. Louis. This is at least a year-long process, and so far has been fairly costly; it is also something that at first I chaffed against because it meant at least a year delay in getting started with what I call, "the work of the work."

However, I have come to find great value in the itineration process that the Assemblies of God structure demands. Three specific things I have found valuable. First, it has given us opportunity to meet more people across the country than I would have ever imagined. We have met local church pastors, national leaders, and church members who have all enriched our lives in one way or another.

Secondly, this mandatory process has allowed/caused my wife and me to spend virtually everyday for the past six months together, and this has caused growth in our marriage and friendship more than any other single period of time in our lives. As we say, "Every day that we don't kill each other we become better friends!"

Lastly, and in some ways most importantly, it has developed and solidified our calling to the city of St. Louis in a way that nothing else could. It seems that every time that we share what we sense God calling us to, the calling gets deeper and more entrenched in our spirits. Just last Sunday while preaching in Dexter, Missouri, I was moved to tears as I spoke of our passion for the people of St. Louis, and I found myself asking God to permit to give our lives to impact St. Louis. This had never happened before.

Do you want to do something crazy?

2008-06-08T09:50:00.000-05:00

Back to what I said about the month that disappeared... one of the events that took place was the wedding of Raneka Hopkins and Brandon Truelove. I had the privilege of officiating the ceremony, and it was an honor.

Raneka is one of the young ladies that I have spent the last 10 years of ministry with... we first connected when she was in the youth group at Sheffield Family Life Center, and we stayed connected when she went to Fisk University in Tennessee. Upon her return to Kansas City she spent two years in the Master's Commission that I was directing at the time. Following this she worked at the church for a year, preparing for the next season of life. Needless to say, we have spent a long and a lot of time together.

Two times over this period I felt prompted to ask Raneka the same question: "Do you want to do something crazy?" Once was while she was driving all night on her way home from school in Tennessee. From our discussions over the previous few months, I knew that she was experiencing a time of spiritual dryness and emptiness. The Lord prompted me to ask her "the question." The something crazy was going to Mexico on a missions trip. Now that might not seem crazy on the surface, but it must be understood that the trip left the next day, only 4 hours after Raneka was due to arrive home from school. "I can't do that," she said, "I wouldn't even have time to do my laundry and pack!"

"I just thought I would ask," I said, and the conversation ended. About an hour later she called me back and said, "I'm going," and hung up. It was on that trip that God refreshed her mind and spirit, and that he began to redirect her life.

The second time I asked her that question the "something crazy" was committing to joining the Master's Commission ministry for a year. She said, "NO!" She was coming back to KC to finish her degree in business and get on with her life; she had no time to detour for a year into MC. Yet, over the next few days, she began to sense the Lord's nudge. She did come to MC for that year, and one year turned into two. She graduated having fully submitted herself to the voice of God.

Both times that God posed "the question" to Raneka, the timing in the natural would lead one to believe that this would not be the way to go - it was too inconvenient and to disruptive to the normalcy of life. However, upon reflection, I have come to believe that part of God's desire and delight is to keep us from the normalcy of life, to keep us a little off balance, so that he can constantly be speaking into our lives the things we need to grow and mature in our faith, in grace, and in our knowledge of him.

Time keeps on slipping into the future

2008-06-07T17:19:00.000-05:00

Over 30 years ago the Steve Miller Band wrote and recorded a song whose lyrics are still true today. The song - Fly Like An Eagle. The words of the chorus are, "Time keeps on slipping...into the future."

This morning on my morning walk (with my dog Bella) I thought about the recent opportunity that I had to preach at Sheffield Family Life Center (http://www.sflc.net/), my home church in Kansas City. It was May 4th that I preached at Sheffield; today is June 7th.

I actually stopped in my tracks when I realized that a month had passed, when it seemed like only yesterday. Then I thought about the fact that we arrived back in Kansas City (to await the birth of our first grandchild) on Monday of this week, and it is now Saturday. A week, a month, it all seems the same in some ways.

However, when I slow down to look at the month in retrospect, I see that it was a rich, rich month. I spent a week in a seminary class (studying apologetics) with my son in Springfield, MO; I performed the wedding of one of my non-bio daughters. I preached at four great churches and had lunch with six pastors, four of whom I had never met before.

The issue is slowing down. I realize that I must spend time reflecting and contemplating each day to prevent it from "slipping away."

Intimacy & Impact

2008-03-05T06:44:00.000-06:00

I was reminded yesterday during at time of silence, Scripture meditation and prayer, of a request that I had made to the Lord at the beginning of this journey toward planting True Life Church. Actually, it came sometime before beginning the journey, as we were waiting on God and wading through emotions, thoughts, and desires - attempting to hear God's voice and discern His direction for our future.

My request was this: "Lord, let whatever direction you take us be that one that has the greatest potential to produce the maximum degree of intimacy in my relationship with you, and the maximum degree of impact in my relationship with the world.

Intimacy and Impact - this is what my heart longs for.

Is there a balance?

2008-02-23T19:33:00.000-06:00

Two things I know about this serving God thing......

(1) God loves me and wants His best for my life. I see in His Word and in my life that He delights in blessing His people, and in many instances, goes out of His way to do so. As a believer I suppose that I am to be looking and seeking those opportunities to receive His love and favor, and in many ways expect them. However, I also understand that...

(2) ...my life is expendible for the purpose of accomplishing His will. Should I also be looking for opportunities to sacrifice valuable dimensions of my life? Isn't this the opposite of seeking blessing?

I realize that the spiritual answer is that God's blessings come through the sacrifices. Yet where is the balance? How does one know which direction to be walking...toward the blessings or toward the sacrifices?

May I have ears to hear what the Spirit is saying to me at all times.

Is this how we end up....

2008-02-16T08:34:00.000-06:00

I heard an incredible song recently by the band Gasoline Heart. "Is This How We End Up?" (Lyrics posted below) It is asking the self-examining question that, if asked at every point along one's journey, may keep someone from coming to the conclusion of life or mission and being somewhere he/she never intended to be.

The song by Gasoline Heart is asking this question to the musicians and bands currently producing the music for the world to hear ... musicians and bands who apparently have some type of roots in the Gospel of Jesus.

God has used these lyrics to help me examine where I am, and where I am bound to end up based on where I have come to from where I have came from (I know, that is confusing...but think about it).

I want to always ask this question in regards to the life and destiny of the church we are planting in St. Louis. I don't want to ever have the answer to "Is this how we end up?" being, "saved but out of touch...holding candles in the rain, asking God why our light went away..." I don't want to be guily of "reaching the already reached," and "feeding the already fed." That is not what the Gospel is all about, and that is not worth giving one's life for.

In the words of my friend Joseph Jennings, we as preachers need to consistently be called back to our original mission - reaching the world and rescuing the perishing.

How quickly I get off track.

"Is This How We End Up" Lyrics:

Is this how e end up? Stoned and out of touch

Holding candles in the rain ... Asking God why our light went away

Hide behind song and Hide behind dance ...Trading truth for this cheap romance

As modern man advances

Born again boys dressed like girls ... Trading art for cheap plastic pearls

Making records and breaking hearts ... Borrowing other bands creative parts

Emotions

2008-02-15T07:47:00.001-06:00

Someone explain this to me .... from where did emotions come?

I am not asking where DO they come from, but where DID they come ... in the evolutionary timeline and process?

The more I reflect on what life is truly all about, the more that I appreciate the gamut of feelings that I experience. In some ways, the experiencing of these feelings is the living of life.

I realize at times it is best to shield oneself from emotions and feelings, for it is just too difficult. However, the degree to which I can and do allow myself to feel the height and the depth of the emotional backlash of the situations that unfold in my days is the degree to which I truly live life.

Back to my original question: where DID emotions come from? When did this uniquely human phenomenon first occur and from where did it originate? Much of the dynamics of life can be considered mechanistic, and it is therefore remotely possible that they evolved. We have all seen movies which featured some sort of robot or android, developed and built by mankind. They all share one thing in common: they have no emotion, or at best they have simulated emotion. It is as if it is understood that emotions cannot be developed or built into something that is not inherently gifted with them.

Next question: who gave US this gift?

My Fear, God's Answer...

2008-01-31T09:38:00.000-06:00

Yesterday in prayer I began to realize my fear ... will I have what it takes to make the ideal into the real. As we move toward and talk about planting True Life Church, I have the freedom to live in the realm of the ideal. The scary truth is this: talking about something (its ideal) is different from accomplishing that same something (the real). So far, I have let myself live in the fuzzy arena of the ideal, not making myself lower my eyes to the reality of the task.

Thankfully, during that same prayer time God gave me the answer to my fear. The statement the Apostle Paul made to Timothy came to my mind: God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of love, power and a sound mind. Now I, like you, have heard, read and recited that Scripture more times than I can count. But yesterday, it was different.

I was reminded that the three overarching characteristics of God (the ones that combine to bring to reality all that he does) are contained in that verse: His wisdom, His power and His love. In this verse I realized that I have been give access to these three dynamics of who God is, and it has calmed my fear.

Seasons....

2008-01-29T17:18:00.000-06:00

Seasons of life come, and seasons of life go. This is a reality and fact of life. I am learning to not rush through whatever season I find myself in, too eager to get to the next.

Each season holds some things that the next season will not; and, when a season is over, those distinct and unique dynamics of that season will most likely never be realized again as part of one's life.

A silly example: when we lived and pastored in Kentucky (yes, I said Kentucky), one of the greatest things of that season was ... are your ready for it ... Rabbit Hunting! I actually had two beagle hounds, a shotgun and a hunting vest. I don't know exactly why I so loved those dogs and the activity of rabbit hunting, but I did.

When we moved from there to join the staff of a church in East Texas, I tried to carry the best part of the previous season (rabbit hunting) with me. Problem: there are no rabbits in East Texas.

Each place that we have lived and worked has had its own "best and unique" part ... and each place we lived was a season of life. And not one of those things carried into the next season.

As I look at the season of life I find myself in (that of being an itinerating missionary), I am looking at those areas that are best and unique, and though I am looking forward to the next season of life (that of beginning the work of planting True Life Church), I want to walk slowly enough through this season so as to glean and enjoy all that it holds.

I desire to live with no regrets, especially not the regret of rushing through life.

Unless the Lord builds the house...

2008-01-26T09:10:00.000-06:00

There are a few verses of Scripture in Isaiah that I have been reading and thinking about. They are found in Isaiah 30:

1 "Woe to the obstinate children," declares the LORD, "to those who carry out plans that are not mine, forming an alliance, but not by my Spirit heaping sin upon sin;
2 who go down to Egypt without consulting me; who look for help to Pharaoh's protection, to Egypt's shade for refuge.
15 This is what the Sovereign LORD, the Holy One of Israel, says: "In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength, but you would have none of it."

These verses were written during time of King Hezekiah, just before the Assyrian attack on Jerusalem. Hezekiah was looking to form an alliance with Egypt as his strategy in the face of the season that was coming upon his city.

I am facing a new season, and I know that it will be a time of spiritual dealings and warfare. I am wondering how the Spirit would apply these verses from Isaiah to my life at this time.

Uprooting

2008-01-24T18:40:00.000-06:00

I seem to think and communicate in pictures, or at least the way I seem to think of and communicate spiritual things is in the form of pictures and/or metaphors. Sherri and I have found the best way of explaining our strategy in planting True Life Church is to use the metaphor of planting a seed ... and we are that seed.

Our hope is that through planting our lives in the neighborhoods of South St. Louis, the result will be the seed of the Gospel beginning to take root. Our job and responsibility is to actively plant ourselves in as many ways imaginable.

At the same time, there is even a greater need for the uprooting of the many dynamics and strongholds that stand to hinder or prevent the healthy planting of the Gospel. We as human beings cannot actively uproot things that are by nature spiritual; this must happen through prayer. As much as we are working to plant ourselves in the natural realm, we are praying all the more passionately that through the Spirit, God will be actively uprooting the rule, authority and power of this dark world, and the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.

Who's doing what....?

2008-01-20T07:00:00.000-06:00

While in Georgia this past week, we had the privilege of spending time with John Wood, pastor of Christ Chapel in Macon. Among all the topics, thoughts and statements that were discussed, John made a few comments that have stuck somewhere between my head, my heart and my spirit.

The comments were this: Planting and growing this church IS NOT God's project; it is the project that He has given us. We are God's project.

Now with that comes the understanding that He has summoned us to this church-planting project, and that He will empower us in this project, and that He will receive the glory for the project. BUT, Sherri and I must understand that WE are God's true and primary project. His heart's desire is to plant and grow US.

This means many things, some pleasant and some not so pleasant. For one, I must imagine that this means that He will guide us down many roads that will not be the most expediant and effective towards the goals of the church, but they will be the most effective in creating and forming in us what He desires. Said another way, He may take us down the long and rugged road instead of the short and smooth path for the purpose of His primary project - US.

On the pleasant side of what this means, I believe that as we submit and surrender to the hand of God as he works on and in us, the natural (or super-natural) by-product will be the growth of the church and the people of the church, not to mention the transformation of the community and neighborhoods in South St. Louis.

The older I get...

2008-01-19T22:19:00.000-06:00

The older I get, the richer life becomes. I am discovering that many of the most fulfilling things in life and in my walk with God have only materialized because situations and experiences have incubated over the course of many years.

Case in point: this weekend Sherri and I spent a few days with our dear friends, Mark and Kim Lombardo (and their three incredible girls - and Bently the dog). We met Mark over 20 years ago (and I can't believe that I am saying that) when we moved to Springfield to attend Central Bible College. He was not a believer, but did come to embrace Christ before we left the city. We have kept in contact over the years, and now when we get together we have the privilege of talking about two decades of memories .... and it doesn't get any better than that.

To add to the sweetness of the weekend, Mike and Jenna Davis came with us on the weekend trip. Mike was the first student to accept Christ after we came to Sheffield Family Life Center in Kansas City in 1998, and we have been together ever since - as friends and partners in ministry. If you add up the years, it totals thirty years of experiences, growth, memories and laughs.

I am truly a favored man.

Disappointing...

2008-01-17T21:36:00.000-06:00

There is something about loving God that creates a backlash at times. When I love God but yet disappoint Him, it creates a deeper sense of guilt and shame than one would experience if there was no love or concern for God.

In the truest sense, Jesus bore our guilt and shame on the cross. He dealt with it completely. This is not saying that we don't have to deal with the guilt and shame of our actions anytime we disappoint Him. It is saying that we CAN deal with the guilt and shame, that we can go through the process of owning the responsibility of our actions yet knowing that we can be forgiven.

Many times it is much more difficult for us to get over the fact that we have disappointed God than it is for Him to get over that fact. However, we must let go of the guilt and shame, and the knowledge that we have disappointed Him.

What I am saying is that we can come to the point in the process of owning the disappointment we cause God while at the same time not allowing the disappointment to own us.

Thank God for the cross.

You think you know someone...

2008-01-17T08:31:00.000-06:00

I have the most beautiful wife in the world (and she's cute, too). We have been married for over 26 years, have had three biological children and claim about a hundred or so non-bio kids, have lived all over the country, have done all kinds of things, HOWEVER, every once in a while, I look at her and have a surreal moment of seeing her as a stranger. I know that I know her (who she is, what she thinks and feels, where she's been and where she's going, etc.), but experience the strange sensation of being disconnected from her and seeing her in an objective way.

I realize that this must sound weird or confusing. Sorry about that, but I don't know exactly how to communicate what I feel when I experience this phenomenom.

I think that what I am trying to say is this: I am so close with my wife that I inherently and unwittingly consider her an extension of myself. I know her in regards to my relationship with her. My knowing her is completely tied to the context of our relationship. But who is she really? That's what I want to discover.

Treasures

2008-01-16T21:26:00.000-06:00

I have come to the conclusion that one's life is the sum total of the relationships and experiences you encounter through the journey. Many of the experiences you don't necessarily see coming, or even realize the full extent of what they add to your life until you are well down the road. The richer and more authentic the relationships, and the more fulfilling and exciting the experiences, the richer the quality of life.

I consider myself in the top 10% of the wealthiest people in the world. Meet one of the greatest treasures in my life... Jessica Brown.

From her being in my life, I have grown in my determination in accomplishing my dreams, I have learned more than ever to be a fighter, and I have learned that God's grace will always be sufficient for the path my life takes.

This is not to mention the experiences that we have shared. All of this put together adds up to me being very, very rich. I think that sometimes Jesse thinks that she is a pain to me - but what daughter isn't sometimes; the truth is that she adds to my life a fullness and a smile that is unique to her being in my world.

All this and I haven't mentioned that she has allowed me to be a grandpa to her beautiful baby girl -- who does not look like her dad -- and goes out of her way to include me in Lizzy's life. For this I can never repay her. Again, I am the wealthiest man around.

A picture is worth a thousand words...or is it?

2008-01-11T17:07:00.000-06:00

When it comes to knowing God, myself and reality as it truly is, I am beginning to rely much more on my ears than on my eyes. Said very simply, my eyes lead to my brain, my ears lead to my spirit. With my eyes I see what is; with my ears, I have the opportunity to hear what should or could be.

This applies in two different ways.

1) The Scripture gives us this challenge: "Let him who has EARS to HEAR, let him HEAR." It does not say, let him who has eyes to see, let him see. I find that God speaks much more than he shows. This has to do with the knowing and understanding the present.

2) The Scripture talks about God "calling things that are not as though they are." It does not say that God SHOWS things that are not as though they. This has to do with the future.

I see this being intensely important as we move into the beginning of planting the church in St. Louis. People keep asking us what is our vision for the church, or what do we see the church being in the future. I keep finding myself responding, I don't yet know what the vision is or what it will look like.

The critical issue for us is to hear the voice of God as to the way things are and the way He desires things to be. I believe God desires the community to have a dominant voice in the birth of this church. I know that God desires the lost, hurting, disillusioned and cynical to have a voice as to what He desire this church to be.

The Quest to Know Jesus

2008-01-10T20:01:00.000-06:00

I was reading in Luke's Gospel the other day about the experience of the two disciples who ran into Jesus after his resurrection on the road to Emmaus (Luke 24). I found that they had an experience that mirrors my experience at times with Jesus.

These disciples had been walking and talking with Jesus for some time that day, although they did not recognize him (he seemed to have hidden his identity from them) even though they were talking to him about him. In verse 31 it states, "Then their eyes were opened and they recognized him, and he disappeared from their sight."

Did you catch that? As soon as they realized it was him, that they were in his presence, that they were truly encountering the resurrected, historical Jesus, HE DISAPPEARED!

I have found that to be his way. He walks with us and leads us in ways that we don't quite know that it is him, yet the way is all about him. We sense we are getting closer to the very thing we search and hunger for ... a true revelation and understanding of him ... and when we arrive at that moment of epiphany and recognition, when our spirits truly encounter a revelation of the person and presence of God, HE VANISHES.

Truthfully, I haven't quite figured that out, and it bugs me.

What I don't want to happen

2008-01-08T10:17:00.000-06:00

As I read the Scripture, I see Jesus experiencing a large variety of emotions. The one that captures my attention the most is when I watch him express broken-heartedness.

This morning in prayer, I heard myself say, "Lord, may you never find yourself speaking over my life what I heard you speak over the city of Jerusalem." I was referring to Jesus' statement of how many times the Lord desired to call them to himself, but they would not.

I never want to miss God calling me to himself because I have my own agenda, or because I have been blinded by my circumstances and desires. I want to desire him and recognize his calling of my heart the moment he utters the word.

"Father, help me to hear your voice and recognize your call to intimacy."

My Daughter

2008-01-06T20:24:00.000-06:00

I have come to believe that one of God's deepest desire is to spoil his children; however, many times his hands are tied because instead of being simply blessed, we become brats.

That is why I so admire my daughter, Melissa.

Actually, I admire her for many things. I see her as strong, but never a bully, as knowing she is incredible, but never coming across as arogant.

But, I admire her most becasue she has done what few people have accomplished.... she has been spoiled in so many ways, yet without becoming a brat.

I appreciate this because this allows me (and God and her husband) the privilege of spoiling her; she has done this by being graceful and never coming across as though she thinks she is entitled to all the favor that she life has experienced.

She is the standard that I refer to in so many discussions that I have with my many other "daughters." I am grateful that she is the type of woman that can serve as an example of how the Lord desires to bless someone, and an example of how someone should live in regard to the blessings of God.

Miracles in the Mundane

2008-01-05T20:47:00.000-06:00

I had the privilege of spending a couple of days with one of the most incredible and important people in my life the past few days....Tramaine Fraser. We spent time together in Atlanta, where she is working with the Atlanta Dream Center. She and I have been through a lot, most of which occurred during the three years that she gave her life in creating the Master's Commission ministry at Sheffield Family Life Center.
I say all of that as intro to my musing of the day...miracles happen in the mundane.
Tramaine and my's lives came together on a very mundane Tuesday almost five years ago. I went to a Bible study meeting at the home of a friend of mine to speak for a few minutes about this new ministry that we were beginning in the fall of that year, and that I was looking for people who wanted an explosive journey in knowing God. Tramaine was in that meeting.
We had never met before that day, and our lives would never be the same after that day. She responded to the invitation to be a part of starting the MC ministry, and ended up working with us for three years. Beyond that, the SMC experience opened the door to her time in Atlanta. And who knows what's next?
And it all started one random, mundane Tuesday. I want to look at each mundane routine day that I live as the fertile soil of miracles. I believe that my steps are ordered by God, and that each day has the potential to be a spiritual mile-marker as God orchestrates my life.

Jeremiah

2008-01-03T09:18:00.000-06:00

I have been reading the writings of the prophet Jeremiah, for both my personal devotions and in my study of urban theology. This morning I came across a passage that spoke to me: 15:19-21.

I won't quote it here, but in essence it gives a window of opportunity and promise in serving God in the middle of a wicked culture.

The passage that jumped on me the hardest was God's command to "let this people turn to you, but you must not turn to them."

In my longing to be a voice to this generation and to the culture of the day, I must resolve in my heart that I will not always be liked nor appreciated. In fact, the opposite will be true; we will develop enemies.

Maybe I should begin to study what the Scriptures teach concerning my inter-personal relationships with my enemies.....

Grace

2007-12-31T09:15:00.000-06:00

Frederick Buechner wrote that all of life is grace. This morning I sat in silence and pondered that thought.

Defining grace as unmerited favor, Buechner is right in his statement. No one did anything to bring about his/her own existence. Our being here - an individual's very existence - is a matter of grace. We didn't earn it and there is nothing inherent within us that deserves it. All of life is grace.

The question that my heart posed to my mind this morning was this: what are we doing with this grace. We have been given something - a lifetime - by grace. What will I choose to do with that grace?

The Scripture teaches and experience validates that every person has squandered the initial grace given us by God, the grace that produced our very existence. The Scripture goes on to teach that God offers us grace in the form of forgiveness and redemption - a new start - through faith in Jesus Christ.

Personally, I have chosen to accept his offer. Now the question poses itself one more time: what will I do with THAT grace?

If Silence is Golden, why...

2007-12-29T21:01:00.000-06:00

If the saying, "silence is golden," is true, then why do we go to such efforts to make sure that we are surrounded by noise?

I know that in my life, very rarely do I experience silence. This is not necessarily on purpose; it just seems to be that way.

I actually enjoy silence when it occurs. It intrigues me and captures me. Moments of silence are more than peaceful, they actually seem fulfilling.

I wonder if this has anything to do with the God-ordained concept of the sabbath. It has been my experience that the things that God ordains produce health and well-being for those who participate in them.

My personal spiritual challenge for this week is to create times and opportunities to experience silence.

My oldest son...

2007-12-28T07:56:00.001-06:00

My oldest son, Paul, constantly amazes me. I remember ten years ago when we moved from Central Georgia back home to Kansas City. We went from a white middle-class church to a predominantly black inner-city church. The youth group at the time was about 85% black, and the culture and music reflected this very, very strongly.

To put it mildly, if you didn't rap, you didn't count. And Paul did not rap! However, he was an 14-year-old aspiring musician. And at that time he was everything rap was not...rock, ska, punk, etc.

I sat back and watched what would happen - would the culture have an effect on Paul, or would Paul have an effect on the culture. To put it another way, would Paul become what he needed to become to fit into the culture and ethos of the then existent environment, or would he stay true to who he was and to his authentic potential?

I am proud to say that my son had great impact on the culture and music of that group, and helped to open the eyes of many to a broader realm of music and expression than they had been previously exposed to. He changed the dynamics of the group instead of allowing the group dynamics to change him.

I am now watching Paul navigate much more dangerous waters: the sea of worldviews and philosophies that make up the culture outside the hallowed (sometimes hollow) walls of the church. Paul is realizing his calling to be a catalyst of thought.

As he engages the culture of his own generation, I see him as a combination of John the Baptist and Paul the Apostle. He is truly "a voice of one crying in the wilderness" as he dialogues with the religious folks around him, attempting to open their minds to the way in which Jesus is manifesting himself to save the current generation and the ones to come. He is also a champion of the cross to those whose worldviews stand contrary to the revelation of Jesus Christ as savior and Lord. He tells me of his conversations that resemble the Apostle's on Mars Hill, serving God as a catalyst of thought to those whose minds and hearts are settled in another way.

My prayer for him is that he will consistently experience an anointing fit for the call; my prayer for myself is that I will be more like my son.

Believing means....

2007-12-27T09:11:00.000-06:00

I am coming to define "believing" to mean "basing." When I state that I believe something - be it a single principle or concept, or a complete system - I am saying that I am willing to base my life upon it. When I say "life" I refer to my lifestyle as a whole and my specific actions in particular.

The key to living a life pleasing to God is to "believe" his Word to be truth. I evaluate, act and/or react to the circumstances of my life according to what God's Word dictates. Regardless of my feelings, urges, thoughts, moods, bitterness, disappointment, joy, etc, I am to base my life upon the revelation of truth, namely the Scripture.

As I read the Gospels, I observe Jesus doing this. A great example is the record of his temptation in the wilderness immediately following his public baptism. In these accounts, you will see that when posed with an opportunity and a decision, Jesus based his response and his actions (or lack thereof) upon what he believed ... the revelation of God in the form of the Old Testament Scriptures.

I believe in the objective revelation of God in the Scriptures, both Old and New Testament. Though much of its contents are open for interpretation and speculation, there is a large body of text that is not, much of which addresses the practical issues of life and relationships. ""A new command I give you: Love one another" John 13:34. "It is God's will that you be sanctified, that you avoid sexual immorality" (1 Thessalonians 4). "Therefore consider the members of your earthly body as dead to immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and greed, which amounts to idolatry" (Colossians 3).

I "believe" therefore I "base" my life upon these ideas and thoughts. Here's where it gets messy. My believing the truth of the Scripture is demonstrated in the degree in which I base my life upon the Scripture; however, my basing my life upon the Scripture is dependent upon my believing the Scriptures to be true. Question: does believing more lead to basing more, or does basing more lead to believing more (think about that for at least 2.5 minutes, please)?

The answer is "yes" ... to both sides of the question.

Back to this "Timing" thing

2007-12-26T07:40:00.000-06:00

I woke up this morning thinking (or having my mind encroached upon by the Spirit) about the timing issue that I wrote of yesterday. The somewhat general musings concerning the issue of timing were focused on how God's timing can be seen in his accomplishing the big picture of salvation history. And that is obviously important; however, on a more personal note, I woke up realizing that I am experiencing his timing in my own life and faith journey.

As a graduate student (an extension/continuing education M.Div. student at the Assemblies of God Theological Seminary) I must take classes as they come available and fit into my schedule. I recently discovered that I was required to take an introductory level New Testament survey course, something that I had in my under-graduate course work. After a reasonable amount of complaining and whining, I registered, paid for, and began the class.

Back to waking up this morning ... I woke up thinking about how the materials that I am reading are so very relative to the conversations that we are having with people concerning faith and truth. Subjects like the reliability of the Scripture, the historicity of Jesus, the compilation of the canon, are coming up on a consistent basis. And I know that they will continue to surface as we relocate to the city of St. Louis to begin to live life and be a catalyst for a new faith community.

How like God to put the pieces of the puzzle together, and to have me in this class at such a time as this. I thank and praise him for answering the prayer that I recorded at the end of the last post. I will keep my eyes open for what I am sure of will be the many ways that he is and will be orchestrating my life.

Christmas Day

2007-12-25T08:00:00.000-06:00

The birth and life of Jesus was all about timing. The famous Christmas verse (Galatians 4:4) tells that a great amount of preparation went into the timing of his birth: the socio-political dynamics, the national dynamics, the religious dynamics.

In the midst of his birth is the timing of the kings of the East and the shepherds, not to mention the timing of the couple getting to Bethlehem at just the moment of delivery. Once born, the timing of the escape to Egypt from what would have been certain death, and the return to Israel when the time was right, were all orchestrated by the timing of God.

Throughout his life, Jesus spoke of the issue of timing. At the wedding feast of Galillee, he spoke to his mother saying that his time had not yet come. Once, near one of the Feast of Tabernacles, his brothers were pushing him to reveal himself more fully. However, Jesus responds by stating that "the right time for me has not yet come."

Throughout his life, Jesus is seen walking in step with the timing of God, and the result is the accomplishing of God's greater purposes.

My heart's cry has always been fulfill God's purposes and will. I see that this has much to do with timing ... and timing has to do with hearing and sensing God's voice. There are the rythyms of life, seasons and circumstances that guide us, and God is seen as working in and through these. However, the great things of God's purposes and agenda are accomplished by those who walk in his timing and directed by his voice.

I want to be one of those people. At the end of my journey I hope that it is very apparent that God's hand was in the unfolding of my life, and that my heart was sensitive to the commands and the timing that he purposed for my life.

This is the beginning

2007-12-24T09:14:00.000-06:00

It is the day before Christmas ... Christmas Eve, that is ... and I am sitting in my daughter and son-in-law's basement, anxiously and patiently waiting for the next season of our lives to begin.

My hope is that in the next four to five months we will be relocated to St. Louis, Missouri, to begin living a truly organic Christian life. I commit to living each day to the fullest (which I am sure that I will not even come close to doing, due to moods and attitudes that seem to so quickly squelch my outlook and actions - and rob me from this "living each day to the fullest" thing). My goal is to progressively realized all that God had in his heart when I was first conceived of in his mind.